Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Time for new lessons

Over the past few months I was going through a stage where I had almost lost faith in all the good things.

About four years back, I went through a totally opposite stage, where I had a euphoric belief in God, and could see miracles everywhere around me. Then, I reached a point where I was in the best mindset ever in this lifetime. I had the right attitude towards life, the right people around me, and the opportunity to plan and buy all the materialistic things I'd want. From that point onwards, however, everything went downhill. Whenever I thought back about it, I could see the exact events when I went wrong. But that did not give me the inspiration to go set it right. All I've been doing, so far, is brooding about it.

But since the past few months, I've been noticing a series of events that are leading me in a certain direction. Well, I've noticed it only lately. At the onset of this series of events, however, I was totally clueless about what was happening to me and why. Everything was so foggy--I should have realized it was the dawn of a new day full of lessons for me.

Four years ago, I had just finished a previous, very long day of lessons. It was clearly an emotional rebirth of sorts for me. The next angel taught me a lot in a really short time, and it was fun. Then came the long period of stumbling down the hill. I doubt whether I could have steadied myself even if I wanted to. Maybe this was necessary to break my ego, which had built itself up while I was reaching my mental / emotional high-point.

In the past few months, I had to sort of unlearn all that I had learned before. All my myths about love and life came shattering down to the point that I was becoming bitter and rotten from within. Then, slowly, without me noticing, the regeneration process began. This time, my angels appeared not in the form of people, but as books. Oh, wait a minute! What am I saying? Of course, there was a person. You know who you are. Thank you.

Then there were my darling books: Curious Lives (Richard Bach) and Many Lives, Many Masters (Dr. Brian Weiss). I had bought these books months ago: just around the end of my four-year-long-day-of-lessons. But, as I truly believe, books come to me (read: I happen to read them) at a time when I need them the most.

Curious Lives was the first to intervene: like I said, I was losing faith in all the good things in life. I felt like rebelling against every custom / tradition set by people around me. When I began with the book, I wondered to myself: how could people be good to others and themselves all the time? That would make the world so boring! This was contradictory to what I wanted, what everyone else seems to want, but can't care enough to work at: world peace, or peace in general--the absence of strife--especially in human relationships. The book cleared any doubts I had about the possibility of a fun life inspite of all the goody-goody behavior. Richard Bach is surely one of my most important teachers in this lifetime. A silent thanks to you my reluctant messiah!

Many Lives, Many Masters revived my belief in the existence of the soul and the concept of reincarnations--to learn the lessons we need to reach the all-knowing and wise, God-like stage of tranquility. A friend had recommended it long back, but I knew it would come to me when I was ready.

To top it off, Evan Almighty was aired on TV this evening--a movie I would've put off watching as just another sequel that rides on the success of its ancestor. The hubs somehow kept it on instead of flipping channels as he usually does, and it got me interested minute-by-minute. Now, it's not a great movie by itself. It just came at a special time to me. Thanks for all the hints, my angels.

Besides these, the other significant pointer for me was a sort of reconciliation with a friend, whom I had almost lost, along with my previous unlearning. He was an angel during those lessons--now he is probably a classmate. Another thing that fell into place was my plan to reestablish myself as the morning-person that I always was. I asked for my late evening conference calls at work to be rescheduled to the mornings, and it was accepted in a jiffy. At the same time, my one-month freeze on the gym membership got over, and I started swimming already! Also, for some reason, the hubs and I did not pay our regular visit to the cinemas this weekend. Instead, we did some housecleaning, fixed the bicycles and had a couple of nice rides together. As a bonus point: we haven't had a major squabble in the past two weeks (then again, maybe it's just me consciously avoiding them). If that isn't an indication of the positive changes in my life, I don't know what is!

During this lesson, the changes in me are subtle, and hopefully longer lasting. I have also been noticing every single, small little help that the angels give to push me closer to what I want to be, and what I want to do with my time. I will become more efficient and consistent as time goes by, and hopefully not take things for granted any more. Never let me lose faith again, my guardians.

Nov 19, 2008, 0008 hrs :)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Time to wake up and act

The title is a note to myself. As I was clamped to my work desk this afternoon, pondering over certain parts of my work that could be done better, this is what flashed across my mind:

I've been going through a mid-life crisis since the past three years. Mid-life, because I neither expect to live beyond five decades, nor expect my poor fellow beings to bear with me for that long. For some reason, I've been suffering bit by bit every day for the past three years. I used to feel like I'm eroding physically and mentally, and that I'm running out of time, unable to do things I believed I could and wanted to, since I was a child. Possibly, those feelings have sunk in so deep and for so long, that they're turning into a reality.

Hence the reminder. Like Lt. Harris of the Police Academy would like to say: Move it! Move it! Move it!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

To prove the movie-buff quirk

Here's what we booked through BookEazy alone between March and November this year (including personal rating opinions :D):
  1. Quantum of Solace ~
  2. The Accidental Husband ***
  3. Kidnap #
  4. Hellboy II: The Golden Army **
  5. Mamma Mia! ***** (My first English musical, and I thoroughly enjoyed the perfection that is  Meryl Streep.)
  6. Tahaan ***** (There's beauty in simplicity.)
  7. Wall-E ***** (The bestest film of the year, methinks.)
  8. Wanted ***
  9. Rock On ***** (Why was Farhan Akhtar in hiding for so long?)
  10. Maan Gaye Mughall-E-Azam ***
  11. Ugly Aur Pagli ~
  12. The Dark Knight ****
  13. Kung Fu Panda ****
  14. Hancock ****
  15. Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na ****
  16. In Bruges ***** (Colin Farrell couldn't have been more cuter / funnier than this; also enjoyed Brendan Gleeson a.k.a. Prof. Mad-Eye Moody and Ralph Fiennes a.k.a. Lord Voldemort.)
  17. The Nanny Diaries **
  18. The Incredible Hulk ***
  19. The Happening #
  20. 21 **** (One of the sleekest films of the year.)
  21. Summer 2007 **
  22. Sex and the City ~
  23. Be Kind Rewind ***
  24. Tashan #
  25. December Boys **
**** (better) and *** (good) For the fans of certain actors or sequels.
** Okay to watch once.
~ Wouldn't have made a fackin' difference (as TRNM would've put it) to my life if I hadn't watched 'em.
# To be AVOIDED at all costs (just in case you didn't, do notice the bold, italics, and CAPS).

Money spent on booking: Rs. 4230... possibly some more as the reservation, and some security deposit that BookEazy refunds on closing the account. Also, parking fees. Not to mention the food consumed before / during / after the shows.

Of course, there were other movies that we watched by booking online through the respective cinema halls' websites. But that's another story.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Bringing up a family versus dumb ol' spawning

To my friend who gave the stupid argument, "Who are we to stop the natural flow of events?" when we were discussing about having children within a year of marriage: So would you just go on impregnating the poor woman that is your wife because you can't stop the "natural flow?" If you can stop it later, then why not pause for a while before? ... and maybe give a thought to why you want to have kids in the first place, how you want to bring them up, would you make a good parent, etc.

Now get this straight: I'm not pro-children or anti-children... to each his own. My point is: the argument was one of the dumbest I heard recently, that too coming from a guy... what makes them think they are logical and smart?

Friday, November 07, 2008

Visit a place at least twice

... to exprience it well. Except public lavatories of course.

The first time you may be pleasantly impressed or expressly put off with it. On the second visit you'll try to notice what you didn't during the first one.

You could even classify your visits as the photography one, wherein you go click-happy, and the non-photography one, wherein you pay attention to views, sounds, smells, and passers-by like there was no tomorrow. That'll make it a more wholesome experience, in most cases.

[During the Village Walk near Mogli Resort @ Bandhavgarh National Park, Madhya Pradesh]

Now if only someone could take care of the time and money involved!!

Back from vacation

... and feeling all ....
[Thanks to hubby for listening to my clicking-instructions ;-)]