What puts me off reproduction - I

Scene at the salon early this week: I was in the robe that they give you when you're waxing full arms and legs, returning from a mid-waxing wash from the bathroom. Picture a mamma in her late 20s or early 30s, tires of fat around all her limbs and torso, wearing a horizontally striped t-shirt and pink capris (the lengths that these women go to, to keep feeling young) lying on the couch. But I gave her the benefit of doubt--thought that it might be more convenient for her to manage her 4/5-year-old kid in that attire.

Anyway, so madam was there to wax her underarms and upper lip, and get a pedicure done. So she dragged her 4-year-old son along to a salon full of semi-nude ladies. The kid, obviously being curious, was squinting into his mother's armpit to check out the wax being applied (almost getting his nose stuck). Mamma bear was trying to read stories to him in between her ooohs and aaahs and instructions to the beauticians. The good thing was, his questions about the happenings around him were answered truthfully. But my questions is, did he really need to know?

Was there no way the woman could leave her child elsewhere, or outside, at the reception, sparing some other ladies their embarrassment? Thankfully, the child had eyes only for his own mamma and therefore neither me nor anyone was made to flinch or cover up. But what if the child wasn't that well behaved? Does he, at this age, need to know what pains a woman has to go through to keep looking so-called-beautiful? In his youth he will obviously expect the woman in his life to be 'clean' like his mum. You know, the age-old argument... "but even my mum used to do all this without a complaint'! I know there are gem-like men out there, like my darling hub, who will never want a woman to go through pain to look beautiful. But, obviously, they were not given an early dose of the inside-workings-of-the-salon so early in their lives.

The other interesting part of the event. Mamma bear was reading a story out to her kid about a fox who was proud of his wisdom. The dialog goes like this:

Mum: Once upon a time there lived a fox in the jungle who was proud of its wisdom.

Kid: Mum, what's wisdom?

Mum: Hushaar (Chatur/chalakh in Hindi--isn't that supposed to be clever/cunning and not wise?)

Me to myself: Wow! Wisdom, indeed.

Mum: The fox was hungry, came across a turtle, wanted to eat it, and so pounced upon it and started scratching its shell so as to tear it. The turtle asks the fox to drop it in the pond nearby so that the shell would soften and then the fox could eat it. The fox agrees and as soon as the turtle hits the water, it swims to the middle of the pond where the fox cannot reach. It then tells the fox not to be so proud of its 'wisdom'.

Me to my squirming-with-irritation-self: Bullshit!! WTF is this woman teaching him? Wisdom = Cleverness? Buddha was wise. What if this child remembers this story when being taught about Buddha and applies the logic that being wise, if Buddha was in this situation, he would have turned the turtle, scooped out its flesh and eaten it. Who the hell wrote this story in the first place? What kind of books do these people publish? Do they even think before they introduce certain words to kids? Aaaaaargh!

I know I might be taking it too far by applying this 'wisdom' to Buddha, but there are chances, no? With such literate-but-not-qualified parents around? Ok. I shut up. Move on to the next.

Scene at the swimming pool later in the week: I enter the ladies' shower room to noises of another 3/4-year-old thrashing around. Mamma's busy drying her hair while the kid is yelling and hitting any accessible surface with whatever it has in its hands (I'm already too pissed to notice).

Then, as I'm trying to change in a corner, another lady in her swimsuit walks in, and noticing the child, wraps a towel around her torso. She seems to appreciate the child's 'energy' and talks to him as she bends over to pull something out of her bag. The kid comes near her and touches her: I'm not sure whether he was trying to tickle her or pull on her towel. She laughs, gets up slightly panicked (or tickled?), and the child moves away. I move in to the shower to change, all the while praying for the child not to peep in through the plastic curtain. I'm at peace only after I hear them leave.

Now, there was a huge open terrace right outside the shower room. Couldn't mamma bear let her puppy run amuck in there?! I know, I could have politely asked her to keep her child out, but who knows how she would react. I go to swim because I want to relax and not risk entering verbal brawls with idiotic quarter-life-crisis-driven mammas who can't decide where to draw the line for their kids.

Conclusion: I keep saying this to my husband: I don't want to produce any more scum on the earth. If I have a child I would be an overbearing, protective, smacking-manners-into-my-kids kind of mamma. Now, I know my in-laws wouldn't approve of that. I've seen my SIL bring up her kid: no yelling and no smacking the kid--how can you have a heart to treat a poor-toddler-who-can't-understand-a-thing like that? Me thinks, one can at least hold the child tight and tell them softly, clearly, and firmly what is not acceptable. Maybe like The Mad Momma does. I wish I had the clarity of thought that the lady has! Simultaneously, appreciate each good thing that the child does, and if possible, explain what was 'good' about its act. But since I am very impatient, at times immature, and at other times cynical (more so since I'm in the company of in-laws), I do not wish to risk producing a child who's just as unsure and lost as me. Especially because I frankly think that the hubs is not (and never will be) mature enough to "bring up" a child.

This is a long rant. Let's just leave it at that.

The Hurricane

I just finished watching the movie based on Rubin Carter's life. Denzel Washington plays it with his usual cool self. Brilliantly.

But what's left me impressed is the character. And its strength. No, its courage. It takes a lot of strength to protect yourself. Even more to fight back. But it takes courage to stay upright and keep your spirit intact against an onslaught of inhumanity.

I cannot imagine what life must be like inside a prison. Let alone being repeatedly humiliated every single day. There is only so much a human being can take before going insane. Or before becoming a cynic. And eventually turning into the walking-dead. All that, in spite of being innocent. I cannot even begin to imagine what kind of courage this individual must possess to control the urge to retaliate with violence. Especially when he possessed the physical capability. What must be the measure of the strength of his mind?

"Rube" seemed somewhat Gandhian to me. But not particularly being a fan of the Gandhian ways, I wouldn't like to continue on that trail of thought.

Besides, there was only so much that "Rube" could achieve individually. It wouldn't have been possible for him to see the end of his unfair imprisonment without the help of "friends". Lesra, Terry, Sam, and Lisa. Four wonderful and equally courageous individuals who stood up for something. And saw it through to the end. All for another person who had spent more than half his lifetime in jail. No normal human being could do that. It requires a certain madness--passion--to feel so strongly about something and work it out in spite of all the unfavorable, even life-threatening situations.

This is what I respect most in individuals--passion. Not to confuse with the "passions" that people proclaim to have on Orkut. I believe 90% or more of them don't know what they're talking about. It all seems so fake! I couldn't stand it any longer. Which is why I deleted my account. I feel so light now.

And a bit shaken, after witnessing The Hurricane.

Sunday, Mar 30, 2008 @ 2:05 am

Addendum:

I google Rubin Carter this morning and here's what I come across. Just when I come to trust in something good, all evidence to the contrary is thrown at me. Sigh!

In any case, whether Rubin Carter was really innocent or not, the character in the movie was portrayed so. And some days I'd rather live with beautiful fantasies that with sadistic reality.

Combating global warming

This one is inspired by TMM's post. Actually, I was writing a comment to that one, but then it turned out to be such a long one, I thought I'd use it here.

My sweet hubby found this here. Isn't it really cute?!

I'm a big believer in conservation. And I pay attention to tiny things like:

• using as few plastic bags as possible,
• not throwing trash anywhere other than a dust bin,
• separating as much wet and dry garbage as I can,
• switching off the car/bike at traffic signals that last longer than 30 seconds,
• using the blank side of printed papers that are no longer useful,
• reusing gift warps,
• using only the necessary amount of soap when cleaning utencils, and
• pointing out to literate (can't call 'em educated) morons that they are doing their country and future generations a crime by littering.
  

On the flip side:

• I liberally use pesticides... I kill a cockroach when I see one... can't stand the sight of them. All other creatures I let go, unless they are eating up supplies or something like that.
• I don't go the entire mile in disposing electronic waste correctly.
• There may be more, but I don't remember at the moment. If someone sees me doing something really stupid, you're welcome to smack me on the head and remind me of this brag-filled post!
  

Am I THAT boring?

Traditional and comforting. You focus on living a quality life. You're not easily impressed with novelty. Yet, you easily impress others. You are a...

Cheese Pizza

What's Your Pizza Personality?

Really? Not even a mushroom pizza??
Now, I've always liked Margherita, but it's been ages since I've eaten one. How can I be one?

Shit!

I should try another eatable personality test that will assess my cool quotient correctly.

Maybe ice-cream! But then I don't want to turn out to be a Vanilla ice-cream, though I like it. Ummmm, Butterscotch?

Or maybe I should just go eat some instead of imagining myself as one. To be li(c)ked by all those people out there?! Eewww!!

Sometimes I forget

...that we really are spouses. Him and I, of course.

The other day, my MIL and SIL were narrating some incidents and ticked off a list of boys in their family who got married recently. When they took my hubby's name, for a couple of seconds there, I thought to myself... "Oh, wow! When did this guy get married?!"

And then I turned to the hubby who was sitting beside me, saw his face, and recognition dawned. "Oh, yeah. I know when."

And I burst out laughing :D

Unforgiving and forgetting

[Picture downloaded from here]

Triggered by TMM's dilemma (?)

I believe that the world still spins peacefully only because I'm not a witch (and, therefore, my curses don't work). I encounter many people who make my day more interesting (by acting arrogant, uncivilized, and sometimes downright stupid). To each one of those, I wish many interesting returns. Here, take your pick:

• May you hear Himesh Reshamiya in your own head day in and day out.
• May your neighbor's dog pee on your shoes every night.
• May one of your vehicle's tire be punctured on your way to the office, especially when you're running late.
• May the other tire get punctured the next day.
• May gnats drone around your head all through the imminent walk to the puncture repair shop.
  
• May you never find anything of a particular size that you want when you visit any store for the next 6 months.
• May your sweat brew up a stench during the first month after your wedding :-P
• May each of your mobile phone get stolen within a week of its purchase.
• May you be hit with static electrical charges, at least 32 times a day, all through the next winter.
• May you be hiccup-ridden all through your next airplane journey.
• May your roof leak for 3 hours on 3 random non-contiguous days, once every year.
  
• May you have to spend 1 month of 12-hour workdays with the colleague you find most irritating.

Okay. I've got to quit now, because I've got to attend the 1x1 with my boss. Besides, if I continue, I fear the risk of finding myself in at least one of the above situations. You never know when your jinxes would backfire!!

Me? Growing up? Surprisingly, yes!

This is a quick post off the top of my head. Some thought that just caught me in the tracks.

I was talking to my dad over the phone this morning and he mentioned that mom has lost her new spectacles during a bus journey. She tucked them into a pouch attached to the seat ahead of her before she dozed off for the night. Upon waking up the next morning (possibly in a hurry because she reached her destination), she alighted without taking them along.

Now, why wasn't I surprised?

She had lost dad's wrist watch somewhere in the apartment's parking lot just a couple of days before. Now, don't ask me what she was doing with his watch in the parking lot. She neither follows a strict schedule, nor does she drive. So she has no valid explanation for having the watch on her self. And then she cried for at least an hour, alone, before she called me to share the news.

By the way, my dad keeps forgetting umbrellas in places. He must have lost about half a dozen of them over the years. Not to forget a couple of tiffin boxes and his helmet.

I was pretty calm when all of these events occurred. How come? Beats me! Maybe I've just grown up and become more patient.

Had something like this happened when I was a kid, I would have loved to yell at them or at least taunt them about being as absent minded as I was. Which I did, when my mom lost her purse a couple of times during my school-going years. And that was sweet revenge, because, obviously, I was yelled at when I forgot things.

And now, when it's their turn to turn forgetful with age (that's silly to say because they're not even 60 yet, but...) I think I'm being pretty gracefully understanding. And I feel this sweet halo around my head ;-)

Snootiness apart, another reason for my calmness could be that they're not losing anything that is earned by me. To a certain extent it is rational that parents get angry with their kids when they break or lose things bought with money that they have really worked hard for. And, usually, kids respond in the same manner when it's their turn to earn and support their parents. And then, there are those wonderful kids who learn from life, become wise, patient, and treat their people kindly. I only pray that I grow into the latter. Amen!