Friday, April 20, 2012

Goodbye, Gerry!

Dear Gerard,

You were a very special boy--the only liver-spotted male in the two litters birthed by Mojo and Phoebe so far. You had the handsome looks of your pa and his playful attitude; the color of your eyes and your spots--a gift from your paternal grandma. The look in your eyes, your voice, your multicolored nails, your confidence (bordering on arrogance), and the goofy way in which you sat sometimes was a direct inheritance from your ma. We enjoyed watching all those qualities trickle down into you from your parents, while still being your own person.

You were with us for just a few days over four months, but you brought joy into our lives that would last us a lifetime. Each moment spent with you was special--you made it thus by just being yourself--lively and playful all the time. We could spend hours just watching you--you were so strikingly handsome. Your human ma Geeta tells a story wherein a girl even offered to marry you!

It was only a week back that we came to see you last, and we spent over an hour with you instead of the intended 10 minutes--you were that charming! Then, only a week later, you ate one of your toys (or something else that we will probably never identify) and it got stuck in your system. You started puking the next day and lost a lot of blood over the next few days. Not eating didn't help your cause either. One evening we got Mojo and Phoebe's blood samples to check whether they could help you. We were glad they were a match so that both could donate if needed. We were just getting ready to come over and donate blood for you before your surgery when Geeta called us with the unfortunate news.

She's been hit the hardest by your departure, dear Gerry. Both, your grandpa and I felt very sad a losing you, but we can't imagine what she's going through because we still have Mojo and Phoebe to love and to hold. She's been apologizing to me for losing you, and I keep telling her to let it go. I know she's thinking about the past few days in her mind over and over again--what more could she have done? should she have taken a second opinion? should she have insisted on getting you operated sooner? should she have called me sooner?--I would have done the same. Now, however, you have gone, and no amount of brooding will bring you back. Of course, identifying what could have saved you might help in the future if we run into such a problem with another puppy. For that, however, she needs to feel better about herself. She needs to let you go, and let go of her guilt too. She needs to know that she deserves to be loved. She should get another puppy and love her/him the way she loved you. I know you'd want that. I know you loved her very much and you would want her to feel loved again. Would you stay around for a while longer and tell her that? Maybe pay a visit to her in her dreams?

When we first saw you this morning, you were pronounced dead for about an hour. I could, however, still see the light in your eyes, and both, Geeta and I were waiting for you jump up any moment. Every once in a while it felt like we could see you breathing lightly, or that you blinked... we were hoping foolishly for a miracle. In the next few hours, though, as we waited for the Animal Farm folks to come take you away, I noticed that your gaze became lifeless. I could especially feel it when we left you at the cremation site. It was as if your soul stayed back at Geeta's home, waiting for her and her family to return. I hope it is so. I hope you linger on for a little while more... stay with her and comfort her the way only you can. Remember how you just went to her when she came to visit the first time? You were destined to be together. You were made for each other. Please tell her to remember that, and remind her that nothing lasts forever. It won't be a fitting testimony to your life if she's sad every time she thinks of you. Remind her of the fun times you had and encourage her to remember you fondly without feeling burdened with regret.

And as for us? We can only be grateful that you came to us and stayed for as long as you did. You were the embodiment of pure, unbridled joy and beauty. We'll always remember you fondly.

Lots of love.
G'pa and G'ma


Peeves said...

Ohh dear! I read this today. But, it's lovely and painful. I wish Gerry was still here, especially for Geeta. I hope Geeta finds a lovely pup soon.

Pallavi Sharma said...

I hope so too, but I know it will take her some time to be able to hold and love another pup again. She's probably going through a lot of internal struggle. I pray that she finds peace soon and is able to forgive herself and allow another pup to love her!

Pallavi Sharma said...

A month's gone since you left, Gerry. Hope you have moved on to where you were supposed to go!
Much love,
Grand-maw and Grand-paw

Pallavi Sharma said...
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