Tuesday, July 29, 2008

To you, Shithead

It's that time of the month again. No, not the one where I leak obsolete fluids outta my body and throw more tantrums than usual. It's the time when the writing bug bites me. The kind that compels me to put pen to paper while retching at the thought of using the keyboard, yelling "...but that's not writing!!"

[So why am I typing this out? Because, I do not have the facility to either scan what I wrote on paper or make a digital copy of my handwriting and upload it (which equally sucks).]

I am listening to Robbie Williams' "To be a better man" over and over again. A dear friend once sent it to me. I'm missing him so much, but at the moment, I'm not in the mood to get back in touch (there goes a rhyme). Some terrible disagreements have put me off that person so much that I'm sure I'll never have the same respect for him again. Yet, I suspect there will be a time when we will be chatting up about Life, the Universe, and (maybe not) Everything just like old times.

Deez once said to me---and I'll never forget this---each one of us is equally capable of making horrible mistakes in life. For some reason, I can't accept this truth about the friend I mentioned earlier. I mean, anything, but what he did! Maybe it was my foolish illusion that he was very much like me, and would never do what he did. Besides, I was constantly pointing out to him where he was going wrong. Yet, he consciously chose to do it.

Despite all that, I've got to pick up the pieces of our broken friendship and put them together. It may not look as beautiful as it once was, but the cracks will serve as a reminder of what it has been through, and hopefully, as a reminder to him not to repeat that particular mistake.

2 comments:

Rohit said...

Good work on your All New, "Fresh Look" Blog.

And thanks for doing the honor of dedicating this post to me. I like the way you have put your thoughts together and versatility of your expression. they call it freedom to judge.

What you have written and said is truly touching specially the putting the pieces together part but only thing i wanted to Really say here is:-

1. DO NOT JUDGE ME.
2. The relation and harmony and the synchro we shared is lost and i am in no way looking forward to a cello tape patched, cracking material of a friendship since what i did was MY LIFE. and decisions i took were MINE. And again i Have no Regrets.


PS:- Thanks for directing me to this post. and JLT, I really feel you have really gone too fast and too ahead with this. So this is my Final Farewell.

Good bye

Rohit

simplypallu said...

All I know is that you have zero understanding of what I wanted to say. You are currently blinded by something I cannot fathom. All I will say is just go away and leave us in peace. It's you who landed us into all this mess. Not me alone. A lot many others. I'm sincerely hoping this is truly the Final Farewell. Thanks for all the BS. I'll never dream of perfection again.