Monday, February 27, 2012

Apologies

It's been so long since I posted anything here that it feels a bit weird typing text into this UI. However, the apologies are not for that. Also, for a change, this is not a sarcastic post.

To the girl in the white burqa/hijab with the gray floral print who was driving a black scooter on F C Road yesterday,

I apologize to you yet again for my mistake. I intended to park next to Wadeshwar, and because the most efficient way to parallel-park a car is to do it in reverse, I halted close to other vehicles parked on the right. Being totally focused on getting to the spot before the traffic started flowing again from the signal at my rear, I made a mistake. I reversed the car before thoroughly checking the rear view mirrors. Thankfully, neither you nor I were fast enough, and I stopped the moment I realized that the rear left fender of my car had hit the front bumper of your scooter. It took me a few seconds to make sense of what happened and realize that I had to immediately move forward to help you regain control over your vehicle. I did so, got out of the car, and tried to repair the damage that I had done. It seemed to me like your scooter had not toppled over and that you were standing straight, which meant that you were apparently not seriously injured. I helped pick your bags off the road and placed them on your footboard, and I wanted to do more.

I hope that by now your shock and anger has subsided and you are ready to hear me out. I apologized then too, but you were in mood to pay any heed. Had I been in your situation, I would have felt the same things about you and said the same things to you... "Why do you drive if you can't reverse? You should simply stay off the road, etc" However, you said something to the effect of "An apology is of no use, it doesn't change anything." That got my goat. I totally disagree. I knew what my mistake was, and I had to decency to acknowledge it and apologize for it. In addition, I came over to find out the consequence of my action... Were you hurt? Could I help you get medical attention? Did I break something? Could I get it repaired for you?

Had you given me a chance, I would have done all in my power to undo the wrong that I did. However, you and I were both in a bit shock (you, understandably more than me) and tempers flew high. I have seen people who do not even bother to get out of their effing car and try to find out what their mistake has cost others. I surely didn't give off any such arrogant vibes. Not even remotely. However, when you yelled at me even after I profusely apologized and helped you gather your stuff and offered to do more, I got ticked off too. I did argue that I made a mistake and that it could have happened with you too, but it was more to get you calm down and try to establish a dialog rather than for the sake of arguing. It definitely didn't help, did it?

Then, because you didn't seem to need or want any help from me and because you were putting up a fight even against my apologies, I stormed off and got back into my car. Did you notice that I waited patiently until you moved away (still yelling at me) and I could continue with my task without harming anyone else? I'm sure you didn't.

What's the purpose of writing all this here? Well, I hope that you shared your story with someone and somehow someone you know gets to read this and lets you know about it. I pride myself on my driving skills and feel ashamed at the mistakes I make. I do try to learn from them and not repeat them. However, like everyone else, I am not and will never be perfect. So, I do the best that I can. Apologize for my mistakes and try to undo the wrong that I might have done.

I wish we had met in a better situation. We might even be friends. Inspite of the fact that it was all directed against me, I liked that your were spirited and didn't take things lying down. Also, unlike me, you were feisty without being abusive (at least I don't remember any cuss words being used). You remind me of my dear friend Noor, and not just because your attire indicated that you are a Muslim. I could totally picture her giving a piece of her mind to someone who had wronged her! Anyway. For what it's worth, I hereby record my apology and wish that the incident doesn't linger on in your mind. Also hoping that you weren't hurt, and if you were, you do recover soon.

Regards,
Simply Pallu

4 comments:

Sunita said...

HA ha ha....i hope she reads this and forgives you

simplypallu said...

Thanks, Sunita! I hope she does. I'd even take her for a nice long drive sometime :)

Sheetal said...

I love this piece... it's sometimes so important to hear the other side of the story ... had i been in the girl's place i would have also yelled back without listening to the apology and been hoping mad for a couple of hours ..... this perspective will sure help to calm down so that both have a peaceful day ahead!

Came here from Noor's blog and have been reading for a while... :)

simplypallu said...

Thank you, Sheetal. I wish I could be as regular as Noor is, and as positive. That woman has so much going on in her life and yet she finds time to write, and write well too!