Letter from an over-possessive, micro-brained girlfriend-soon-to-be-wife (character 1) of a boy (character 2)
...to his virtual-ex-girlfriend (character 3) who mistakenly thought they were soulmates (they probably were, during an earlier lifetime, but not for this one):
Hi [name of character 3 in small-case],
how are u ?
anyways It's a pleasure to share with you all that I am tying the nuptial knot on [date of character 2's doomsday].with [name of character 2 in all-CAPS]
i m not inviting you just informing you.
n we both don't wanna see you again in our life so plzzzzzz....................
n i think u will understand wat i want to say
thanks n good bye
[name of character 1 in all-CAPS]
...verbatim, excluding real names for obvious reasons.
Okay, if you could tear your eyes off the glaring mistakes (or shall I say ignorance) in punctuation and grammar for a minute, did anyone of you notice the mention of doomsday? I hope that said moron (I'm wondering whether it's character 1, or character 2, or both) realizes what (s)he is getting into, but can never really get out of it. Also, do you think women's liberation is finally here? (Not that I give a rat's arse either way.) I mean, the babe writing on behalf of the guy that they "both don't wanna see" character 3 again in their life! Congratulations to them both. For a sloppily ever after ;-)