...like the ones I had yesterday and today totally kill the momentum that I gain on the other days when I am mindful.
Yesterday, for example, between 1:15-8:15 pm, it felt like I was constantly munching on something or the other. Had a fusion box, a chocolate brownie, and an iced tea from Box8 for lunch. Each time I passed the pantry, I picked a few morsels of बटाट्याचा चिवडा. Went out with a couple of old teammates in the evening and had peanut butter toast, fries, and a cappuccino. The husband wanted to have पाणी पूरी for dinner since his birthday last week, but we did something else instead, so we took the opportunity today, because the cook was on leave. However, my frustration wasn't the effect of binging, it was the reason it.
Today too, although I've been at home and have had to attend to Mojo's pee-routine every few hours, I've walked less than 3000 steps, and neither cycled, nor practiced Yoga. It's as if my mind has been in a fog and refused to participate in the real world. Procrastinating everything has been the order of the day.
And now, I don't even want to make any plans to recover from this tomorrow. Luckily for me, I know that it will happen, automatically.
It's been like this, two steps further and one step back, week after week, for the past couple of years. I've sort of given up trying to keep the momentum up for too long.
I'm just happy I now have goals in life. It's something I've never known previously, at least never practiced consciously or with any sincere effort. I've been an impulsive, obsessive person all through my teens, and have wasted time and efforts on people and things that did me no good, really. It's time now to divert those energies towards things that matter to me.
I sometimes wish I could hire someone to keep me focussed. Like some fella who hired a girl off of Craigslist to slap him each time he got distracted from his goal. However, misanthrope that I am, it's not a realistic solution for me. Nor do I know anyone who's jobless enough to want to do this for me. Also, it won't be possible for me to let someone tail me along all day at work--it would be flagged as a security threat. :D
Anyhoo. I hope that unproductive "episodes" like these get fewer and fewer over the years. I know that that will happen. I've just got to be patient and practice being mindful as often as I remember. For now, I take comfort in these words that I read somewhere today:
"Remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be."
...and the comfort food (सांजा) that I cooked this morning for brunch:
Yesterday, for example, between 1:15-8:15 pm, it felt like I was constantly munching on something or the other. Had a fusion box, a chocolate brownie, and an iced tea from Box8 for lunch. Each time I passed the pantry, I picked a few morsels of बटाट्याचा चिवडा. Went out with a couple of old teammates in the evening and had peanut butter toast, fries, and a cappuccino. The husband wanted to have पाणी पूरी for dinner since his birthday last week, but we did something else instead, so we took the opportunity today, because the cook was on leave. However, my frustration wasn't the effect of binging, it was the reason it.
Today too, although I've been at home and have had to attend to Mojo's pee-routine every few hours, I've walked less than 3000 steps, and neither cycled, nor practiced Yoga. It's as if my mind has been in a fog and refused to participate in the real world. Procrastinating everything has been the order of the day.
And now, I don't even want to make any plans to recover from this tomorrow. Luckily for me, I know that it will happen, automatically.
It's been like this, two steps further and one step back, week after week, for the past couple of years. I've sort of given up trying to keep the momentum up for too long.
I'm just happy I now have goals in life. It's something I've never known previously, at least never practiced consciously or with any sincere effort. I've been an impulsive, obsessive person all through my teens, and have wasted time and efforts on people and things that did me no good, really. It's time now to divert those energies towards things that matter to me.
I sometimes wish I could hire someone to keep me focussed. Like some fella who hired a girl off of Craigslist to slap him each time he got distracted from his goal. However, misanthrope that I am, it's not a realistic solution for me. Nor do I know anyone who's jobless enough to want to do this for me. Also, it won't be possible for me to let someone tail me along all day at work--it would be flagged as a security threat. :D
Anyhoo. I hope that unproductive "episodes" like these get fewer and fewer over the years. I know that that will happen. I've just got to be patient and practice being mindful as often as I remember. For now, I take comfort in these words that I read somewhere today:
"Remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be."
...and the comfort food (सांजा) that I cooked this morning for brunch:
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